Coming Up Short

It is hard to hear the list of those who "have lived it" and not be humbled.  It's humbling to reflect my life against their's and it is even more humbling because my life doesn't include enough of these kinds of people (my wife hasn't already written about one and she will deny it, but I include her in that category).

On personal reflection, (which I understand is not the assignment) even now I still wrestle with my excuses and rationalizations.  I have come up with a decent list of why the people listed in Ch. 9 were able to do what they did and why I can't.  For starters, I have a wife and children.  I mean, I have a responsibility to them.  And I do, but does that really excuse my life and choices?  Or is that just a convenient way to justify my lack of stepping out on faith and not living a life that is Biblically founded.

Jamie and I have spoken many times about my feeling of a calling on my life to vocational ministry.  In answer to that hypothetical question of what I would do if money were not an issue, after spending a few weeks on a movie and lethargy marathon, I would want to be in some sort of vocational ministerial role.  But because of life choices made without seeking God's will, making that jump would be next to impossible in our current condition.  There are many things that could be done to better align the way we have been living with God's Word and we are becoming more intentional about those things.  (The iPad may be out of the will of God, I have to admit....I think God wants me to have one, but I really need to pray on it to help Jamie hear from God too)

The point is, that God did not call all of us to be missionaries in Ethiopia.  And if He did, the first step may not be getting on a flight.  The first step may be just taking care of what God has put in front of us for today.  For some of us, there may be someone whom we work with that could be watching our life example and when things fall apart, turn to us and what we have that they need.  Others might be to be the beneficiary of the person who is going on missions to Nicaragua.  Some might sponsor a child (or more) through different organizations.  Others may be on a continuing journey of obedience and availability bringing them from being afraid of the idea of talking with small groups of people to regularly speaking in front of large groups of people.  Others it may be to reach out to different ages or groups of people with encouragement and give attention that they may not be getting from anywhere else.  We can be "faithful with a few things" so God will "put [us] in charge of many things" (Matthew 25:21 NIV).

The important thing is not to be complacent and to keep following God.  Too often we will go through a trial that God allows, be drawn closer to Him, see Him deliver us, and grow in our relationship and dependence on Him... only to then fear experiencing the next big thing God has in store for us to bring Him even more glory.  I, as I don't want someone to think I am not talking to myself first, find myself more in love with comfort than with Jesus.  I buy the lie that suffering for the sake of Christ means I have to lose out on something.  Like giving up my luxury to have money to help someone who has nothing will somehow deprive me.  That is the lie I can no longer afford to believe.  Giving up what was never mine to begin with to benefit one who God wants to show Himself to can only benefit me in ways here on earth and for eternity.